One of my biggest appearance-related fears is that my poor posture will cause me to develop a Quasimodo-like hump on my back. Because it’s important to me that I research my blog posts thoroughly, I Googled “hunchbacks” and learned that the technical term for having one is kyphosis. Whether years of slouching can cause this is still unclear.
I don’t intend to find out. I am going to make it my personal mission to fix my posture.
I used to have great posture. My mom used to always be telling me to sit up straight, and I actually did, for a long time. (When I was in church as a kid, I used to pretend I was locked in The Chokey to help me sit still and upright. If you don’t get that reference, we’re not friends anymore.) It deteriorated sometime during college – when my mom was no longer around all the time to tell me to sit up straight – and that’s bad.
It recently occurred to me that perhaps my man-voice problems are exacerbated by my slouching. I remember reading a book when I was a kid that said singers stand up really straight and fill their stomachs with air to make sure they’re projecting their voice from their diaphragm. And hey, most of them use their voices a lot more than I do, and they stay intact. Perhaps mine doesn’t because I’m crushing my voice-projecting muscles.
Plus, I’d look a whole lot better if I’d work on my posture. As Tammy One said to April in this season’s Parks and Recreation premiere, “Sit up straight; you’re not doing your breasts any favors.”